Almost a year later, Lionel rings his mother and tells her that they are expecting a baby.His mother doesnt slam down the phone but says, very politely and unemotionally, "Thats nice, son, Im happy for you both."Eight months later, Lionel again rings his mother and says, "Mum, I just want to say that last night my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.He opens the fridge to look for the olives and notices that taped to the inside of the door is a risqué photo of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but naked young woman.Sidney passes by a pet shop in Oxford Street and notices a parrot in the window selling for £1,000. The salesman tells him the parrot speaks five languages.
So he pays the £1,000 and arranges for the shop to deliver the parrot to his mother.I haven't even had a chance to go shopping."The voice on the other end said in sympathy, "Darling, let Mummy handle it. I'll feed the baby and I'll call an engineer I know who'll fix your washing machine. I'll even call your husband David at the office and tell him he should come home to help out for once."Issy is a very wealthy man and for his mothers birthday he goes to a Sothebys sale and buys her a very expensive painting.When he gets back home, he cant wait to phone to tell her what hes bought for her."Hi, mum, its me, Issy, your number one son, your boychik."Sarah comes home from her long stay in Uganda and surprises her mother Bette, who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoh ball soup.Bette is so thrilled she can't stop hugging and kissing Sarah.
God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy.