During these times, he would belittle her and say she would never find someone like him again.
Eventually, he would break up on the spot and disappear.
It’s the combination of words and deeds that makes love bombing so powerful, especially considering today’s technology.
The ability to call, text, email, or connect on social media 24/7 makes it easier to be in constant contact with the object of one’s affection than ever before.
Idealization is when partners see each other as “perfect,” “meant to be,” or “soul mates.” This is not to say that idealization by itself is unhealthy in romantic relationships.
He started screaming, “You don’t deserve me," and stormed out. How could this loving man, who had been attentive, caring, thoughtful, and considerate in so many ways, suddenly get so angry over something so trivial?
Distraught, and desperate to put a positive spin on it, she decided his anger was further evidence of his tremendous love for her; it was protective, not controlling. Whenever Lisa tried to spend time away, Jake got angry. “Soul Mate,” she was being “selfish.” Any desire to maintain past friendships simply proved that their relationship wasn’t enough, and wasn’t meant to be.
"Lisa," a 30-year-old patient, came to see me regarding a tumultuous relationship: Two years prior, she had met the perfect man, "Jake." This was a guy who called every day, sent flowers, planned romantic getaways, and was so thoughtful and understanding about everything.
After just a few weeks, Lisa was head over heels in love and thought, “this must be my soul mate!
The dopamine rush of the new romance is vastly more powerful than it would be if the target had a healthy self-image, because the love bomber fills a need the target can’t fill on her own. Love bombers are manipulators who seek and pursue targets.